by Rachel Joy Bowman                                                                                    October 01, 2011

I seem to be having a really difficult personal problem I have been trying my best to resolve.  I am having a great deal of trouble in getting used to certain sounds.  Some of these sounds are very unsettling, distracting, intrusive, annoying and leading to being very irritated, which has a very strong influence on my tone-of-voice and interaction abilities.

I see an individual that is supposed to be coming across somewhat as representing a female.  What comes out is a deep male voice.  The voice is coarse.  The voice is very rough and somewhat raspy, gravelly, gritty and a bit gruff at times.  This is very disconcerting to my sensitivities.  There seems to be a frequency and/or component that personally is grating to me.

For myself, when conversing they will not let me finish what I am trying to say.  There seems to be an immediate need to jump in, interrupt, talking right over the top of you, and then ramble on and on and on and on in one continuous constant stream of words after my very first sentence; no breath, break, or pause to offer a reply or comment.  Many of the words seem to be just fillers that can be best left out – unsaid.  The subject is frequently changed.  The content is usually a lengthy dissertation or very long lecture (sometimes approaching sermonizing) all about themselves – their exploits.  Many are repeated over and over again ego oozing out of each sentence.  With any conversation by any two people they must feel an incredible urgency to but-in and put their two cent opinion into and about everything and anything; whether they are a part of the conversation or not.  It seems to me that they have an incessant fascination in hearing their own voice all the time over anyone and everyone else’s.

The fact that someone talks to themselves is not a big issue, but when they are very loud and constant during any time period it becomes distracting and bothersome reaching the point of being obnoxious, annoying, and irritating (which has a very definite effect on tone-of-voice in responding to the audible intrusion).  Other audible intrusions to cover up are moaning, groaning, gnashing, snorting, grinding, grunting, griping, wheezing, and complaining.  I feel like I am forced to endure the cries of pain much too long.  If the pain is so bad that is causes one to cry out so much then quit doing whatever is causing the pain; at least until one can get to a doctor to get whatever fixed or some relief.  It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just occasional but the noise pollution is incessantly continuous and loud.  A simple effort to lower the sound volume level down to zero would be a tremendous relief.

I can not tell if you are talking to yourself, or to someone else, or to me.  If you want to address me then call my name first so that I may know to direct my attention to what you are about to say.  I have been noticing that when listening to someone else tell a story an excessive amount of interruption, interjecting, and intrusion has been happening; trying to finish sentences and trying to tell the story yourself.  This is a something that everyone should be trying every effort to cut down on.

These are my feelings that I am trying my best to address.  Feelings are nonsensical, illogical, no rhyme or reason, and cannot be helped – they just are.  I can avoid these feelings, I can bury these feelings, I can cover up these feelings or I can deal with these feelings.

The solution that I have presently come up with, so far, are to use earplugs, headphones, operation of a motor, such as a fan, and/or closing doors to muffle or cover up to screen out the sound pollution.  I do not feel that it is mandatory for me to talk to them or them to me.  I do not feel that it is mandatory for me to listen to them or them to me.  I do not feel that it is mandatory for me to have anything to do with them or them with me.  Treat each other as if we were just some other guests at a hotel.  Please do not bother with be nor speak to me.  Take all questions, replies, and/or comments – no matter what – anything and everything – any and all dealings between us should go through the Master.

I have not heard or seen any evidence of any efforts toward doing anything about these subjects.  No reading or studying.  No practicing or learning any lessons, routines, or classes  I have not heard or seen any indications or efforts toward modifying diet, exercises, routines, supplements, or anything else that would demonstrate any effort toward any real goal or actual changes.

If you can not find a way of compromising with this issue then I think it would be the best option at present to remove myself from being a thorn in the side of my Master and remove any cause of anymore harm.  I will try to do my very best to keep out of the way, out of sight, and out of mind whenever I am in/at this location.

The author can be reached at racheljoy6@hotmail.com.